Thursday, July 24, 2008

Great Date ideas needed

I need date night ideas because my husband and I really need a fun night together. Yes the wedding was fun but suffice it to say, we need a different night out.
The problem is I'm torn about what that should involve and I'm fairly sure some of what I need in a night is not what he needs. The evening to rejuvenate both of us and this week that's a pretty tall order.
We started dating at 13. Before our parents had considered how they wanted to handle the situation, we ran ahead full steam. We were always broke and without transportation and yet they didn't want us to replace 2 hours out together with a hour on the phone sighing. (Can't imagine why?!!!?)
So we tried to be very prepared for our children. Group events are fine but actual 1 couple alone dating was not going to happen before they turned 16. We also had rules about behaviour on a date and read with the first 2 Steve Woods' How to Find a Good Husband/Wife. It led to some interesting moments. 1 teen misheard and thought we said, done being 16 and hid his dates--- not our intent. The other fought tooth and nail for a few months. ( Bet you can't guess which kid did which...)
The crux of the discussions was that to truly honor your spouse requires respecting the heart and body you will someday give to that person. If you let your heart become battered and cynical, if your body is used, bored, compromised by disease at any qualitative level you are not giving your best to a person you have decided deserves your best. Or, worse, you may settle for someone who you do not believes deserves more.
For them we hoped dating would be closer to courtship: not hiding in a dark movie theater but talking over a class or at a service project; not dancing too close and necking in a parked car but meeting family and joining their weekly softball game. That said we did not ask them to just have courtship which typically is limited to the time after getting your education once you can support a family. The reality is many of those families have teens hide their dating and many go overboard while away at college. (and picking a good school is not enough protection.) I wanted to be present and meet the people they liked even when (especially when) that choice seemed inconsistent with the teen I knew.
Well after 8 years of talking about this with my kids, few times alone with my husband, unaware of what happens on weekends after 6PM, and growing older I have no good ideas for my DH. He not only has few ideas but at this point is nervous about suggesting the wrong thing and that is my fault, or at least estrogen's' fault.

Just us or with another couple? I'm sure just us sounds romantic but it increases the likelihood we'll only discuss the kids or old hurts.

Movie? Same as with the teens - we need to have some time talking about something not just sit in the dark together. (that said, I haven't seen Will Smith, Prince Caspian, Bucket List, or a single Oscar winner in years)

Dinner and Dancing? I wouldn't know where. Don't think I want the disappointment of not recognizing a single song or friend or sister in the crowd. I guess its become only a wedding activity that I can't picture without them.

I do hear the weather will be good. Doing something active would be good for us but when was 'good for us' a date?

Oh and it can't be in Holyoke because we have never had a great date that didn't involve being lost. Weird I know but its has become tradition. So respond, and quickly! Got to get my Dear Husband a Fun Wife and soon.

3 comments:

Cheryl said...

I consider it to be a date with my dh if we go out alone and we spend quality time talking. So I don't count weddings or functions where we sit with other couples as dates, although they can be really fun. I think it is hard to think of unique ideas. Right now my favorite is dinner out. We enjoy golfing together. There is a lot of time to talk out on the course. I think walking together (maybe at a park) would be nice, but we haven't tried it. When I was pregnant that sounded too tiring. On our honeymoon we hiked and canoed together. It was fun. I'm not sure where you'd go around here. If there's a movie I'd really like to see, I'd go, but only if we do the dinner too, so we get to talk. Plays are fun. Once we got pedicures together. That was great, except for the cost of it. I can't wait to hear about what you do. Have fun!

Jane said...

Having my mother live with us has forced us out this past year more that we have been out in the last 20! So here are some of our best picks!
We have been going to dinner and a movie pretty regularly... and that is OK ... not generally great though. We have been to some really nice restraunts and some run of the mill. Last week we were broke and went to Costco to get movie tickets. Then we shopped for all the things we would never buy (laughed a lot), went to the Costco food court and outside to eat before going to the movies (Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D... also lots of laughs)This was one of our better dinner out nights strangely. I think it's the unexpected or unusual that is fun.

You could go play pool - for a different kind of fun. We know two couples now who are taking dancing lessons and we are considering that as doing things seems to be lots more fun than plain old eating and watching movies.

I would vote for laser tag or sledding in the winter too but that might be a more fun group date night. We have group date nights often and there is something really nice about being with friends for no reason with no kids... We had a Apples to Apples/Margarita night a couple weeks ago and are planning a Balderdash/Daquiri night soon.
At this stage of our lives, we like to laugh and be silly more that we have in years and it helps a lot.

Going out for coffee after a date is good for talking when you have had a fun night.

We almost always go to Stop and Shop after a date... need milk or TP at home... That's where we had our first dance 21+ years ago, so it's always a laugh to repeat it.

For us, same old things are not nearly so fun as something unusual. So pick something a litle wacky if you can get yourselves going.
Music would be nice too.. haven't tried it yet but there are lots of free or low cost options in summer.
Have fun!
Jane

PS... We also like auctions... lots of fun even when you don't want anything at all. There's lots to talk about too!

BlessedMomto1 said...

Dates...well, I have to say going to Friendly's for a sunday and just catching up has worked and is an easy last minute. I also liked the times when we before going to a big event went out for a drink first just the two of us. Since we aren't big drinkers it was nice to sip our drink and catch up before an event where most likely we'd be across the room from each other.
Good Luck!
Joan