Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Funny Turkey Story

Disclaimer: I am forcing myself to type fast. I am supposed to write about Swift's commentary on politics in Gulliver's Travels but I can't get this out of my head till I finally type it.
Enjoy! Happy thanksgiving to all!

I have a large family (you knew that) so I look for a big turkey. Usually frozen. Thanks to dear Aunt Jo I learned to stock a big freezer to save money and to say 'Yes' to company. One year a friend's son was working at a local turkey farm. She called to say they gave her some large, dressed frozen turkey's but she needed to give some away as her freezer was full. Over she came and her son carried it to my freezer before I ever saw it. She had to go quick but hoped we'd enjoy it. When she was sure of her escape she finally told me...

it was 40 lbs.

I had never heard of such a thing. I went down to look and saw a bird as big as a cow. How would I cook it? Sure enough there was no way it would fit in a pan or even in the oven so there it stayed.

Meanwhile my dear Pepere and Memere were starting to find it hard to live alone. Kind people would bring them meals but sometimes far more than they could use. One day my aunt discovered he had taken a frozen meatloaf to the basement and used the band saw to cut off two slices for a meal. Plenty for the two of them. Ingenious!

Poor man was sent for Alzheimer's testing. (Not that I blame my aunt, uncles or dad, but Pepere was not happy) They also arranged for a home health aide to visit regularly.

The 2 stories would have nothing to do with each other if not for the idea it gave my husband. he laid plastic bags and cardboard on the ground outside, plugged in the reciprocating saw and cut the bird in two. (Can I have my home health aid now?)

We couldn't resist teasing my dear in-laws at Thanksgiving. They rightfully worry about us money-wise and DH couldn't help himself: " well we were given a free turkey but we can't afford to eat a whole free bird so we're only having half a free bird"
(Actually Jeff and his mom broiled the skin for quite a treat. And the bird wasn't tough at all.)

Nope, I'm not done.
Gramma passed away in Rhode Island so off we drove to reminisce and celebrate her funeral. Just getting there was its own escapade since Gramps was SOOO caeful about money that the church, funeral home and cemetery were on 3 different sides of town. If you know Woonsocket at all you know 'you can't get there from here' unless you remember where Joe's pub used to be and know which streets have become one way that used to be two way. No its not on the map.

Anyway we were tired and punchy when we got there and enjoying seeing old friends. It was hard to be too sad for Gramma who we knew was probably having a grand old time in heaven. I told my, still short, turkey story to some friends who asked "well which half did we eat on Thanksgiving?" It hadn't occurred to me? Right? left?
No he asked Top or Bottom? I can just see the Turkey A*** sticking up on the center of the table! That was it! We fell laughing.

So there you go. Not quite as funny as Helen Hunt throwing a turkey out a 10th floor apartment window in Mad About You, but its all the things I am grateful for:

DH,
Family and Friends
Mass
Humor,
Food
oh and power tools!

1 comment:

BlessedMomto1 said...

How can you not laugh at this story again and again. Happy Thanksgiving!