Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Procrastination

I get the most amazing things done when I'm avoiding my real To-do list. This week I updated my Blogger profile. It used to say I had 2 kids in high school with the first about to graduate. Now he's a year from done college! In fact my blog-iversary was this month. 3 years!

But all I can think is:

I can't wait for April,
I need trifocals to see my screen
and keyboard
and read the tiny type in my lit book
and where is spring!


Another thing I did yesterday was get the girls to really clean with me for an hour so we could disinfect. Small stomache bug had showed up and I wanted it gone! I even cleaned under the couch cushions. Sigh! No loose change. That was the only good part about my dad smoking for 30 years. the kid who cleaned under the couch cushions got all the loose change that fell there as he chain smaoked, on his back, reading and listening to the news till he fell asleep. (It was also our job to safely move the ashtray from his chest to the table. thank you! Little Flower for interceding-- 20 years cigarette free!)

Anyway.....

I am supposed to be writing about Ezra Pound's poetry. Do I play it safe and use the first prompt:
argue for inclusion on a sylabus for a survey of American Lit.
or the second:
How doe sthe author's work show "democracy of feeling" and "rebellion" of form common to the imagists.

Oh and Lent-- that was on hold as well. It just was not my year to get much out of it because I just had nothing to put in: no energy or direction. Of course I am aware that means less joy from Easter.
So I guess the goal will be to use the Ordinary Time of summer to grow, re-create, meditate.
I do love ordinary time. Actually I thinks that's what I've missed in my rollercoaster year. Without the ordinary it is so hard to put myself in the seasons.

This is not however complaint. Rollercoaster's have their highs and we've had some wonderful things happen this past year. Spiritually in the past I've been closer to Christ, more aware of the Spirit, more grateful to the Father and smarter about turning to Our Lady. The cycle will come around again and I'm blessed to know that, deeply ingrained in my heart.


So- I should edit this post but I won't. It is a snapshot of who I am right now: blind to typo's, full of mixed emotions, distracted by children who need me and by my need for them. I'm Ok with who I have become at middle age and I'm even OK with being middle age. I've been Blessed to spend my entire adulthood (and adoloescence) with the same man/partner/best friend. I have seen 2 children grow up and know my others are doing well and still have a mission in life with the youngest three. I have and like my blog but don't feel the necessity to write daily.

Today is good.

3 comments:

Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur said...

Glad you were having a good day! (We need those every now and then :) ) And yes! Spring is coming - the end of this week should be beautiful. Enjoy!

Mary B said...

I will! And Jeff comes back tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

Mary, you are the most amazing woman! I understand now my feelings toward this past Lenten season so much better thanks to your post. I too need Ordinary Time to appreciate the seasons. I am blessed to have you as my sister. Love always, Peggy